Love is in the air.

1 and a half hour ago, my heart was totally broken. i couldnt stop the tears, i couldnt stand the pain. For 18 years and 10months of being Yong Kah May, i finally came to this day, which i want to stop being Yong Kah May.

1 and a half hour ago, i was being scolded, as if i have killed someone. as if i have robbed the bank. as if i just put fire on somebody's house. i have so many doubts in my heart, i have been keep thinking, i have been struggling. i shouted, i cried, i scareamed. i wanted to know, i really really wanted to know, m i..m i tat bad? m i the worst person in her world? did i really..really so wrong?

1 and a hlf hour ago, it was 11.30pm.

At this moment, my heart had stop breaking. My tears have stopped. The pain has gone. n I, am no longer the person that i used to be.

At this moment, i feel the tranquility and peacefulness in my heart. i have stopped doubting myself. i have stopped thinking, that my mind is so blank. i promise to myself, i would not cry, would not scream, would not shout, anymore. whether i have done wrong, or whether, i was the worst, it s not important anymore.

For at this moment, my heart had just told me, she is dead.

=I-am-dead, maymay=